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all outward appearance, as any mad woman in Bedlam. Nor
was she only disconsolate as to me, but she was struck with
horror at the sense of her own wicked life, and began to look
back upon it with a taste quite different from mine, for she
was penitent to the highest degree for her sins, as well as
sorrowful for the misfortune. She sent for a minister, too, a
serious, pious, good man, and applied herself with such
earnestness, by his assistance, to the work of a sincere repentance,
that I believe, and so did the minister too, that she was a true
penitent; and, which is still more, she was not only so for the
occasion, and at that juncture, but she continued so, as I was
informed, to the day of her death.

It is rather to be thought of than expressed what was now my
condition. I had nothing before me but present death; and as
I had no friends to assist me, or to stir for me, I expected
nothing but to find my name in the dead warrant, which was
to come down for the execution, the Friday afterwards, of five
more and myself.

In the meantime my poor distressed governess sent me a
minister, who at her request first, and at my own afterwards,
came to visit me. He exhorted me seriously to repent of all
my sins, and to dally no longer with my soul; not flattering
myself with hopes of life, which, he said, he was informed
there was no room to expect, but unfeignedly to look up to
God with my whole soul, and to cry for pardon in the name
of Jesus Christ. He backed his discourses with proper quotations
of Scripture, encouraging the greatest sinner to repent, and turn
from their evil way, and when he had done, he kneeled down
and prayed with me.

It was now that, for the first time, I felt any real signs of
repentance. I now began to look back upon my past life with
abhorrence, and having a kind of view into the other side of
time, and things of life, as I believe they do with everybody
at such a time, began to look with a different aspect, and quite
another shape, than they did before. The greatest and best
things, the views of felicity, the joy, the griefs of life, were
quite other things; and I had nothing in my thoughts but what
was so infinitely superior to what I had known in life, that it
appeared to me to be the greatest stupidity in nature to lay
any weight upon anything, though the most valuable in this
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