Support the Monkey! Tell All your Friends and Teachers
[Takes plate from below.] Have some bread and butter.The bread
and butter is for Gwendolen. Gwendolen is devoted to bread and
[Advancing to table and helping himself.]
And very good bread and butter it is too.
ALG Well, my dear fellow, you need not eat as if you were going
to eat it all. You behave as if you were married to her already. You
are not married to her already, and I donít think you ever will be.
JACK Why, on earth do you say that?
ALG Well, in the first place girls never marry the men they flirt
Girls donít think it right.
JACK Oh, that is nonsense!
ALG It isnít. It is a great truth. It accounts for the extraordinary
number of bachelors that one sees all over the place. In the second
place, I donít give my consent.
JACK Your consent!
ALG My dear fellow, Gwendolen is my first cousin. And before I
allow you to marry her, you will have to clear up the whole
question of Cecily.
JACK Cecily! What on earth do you mean? What do you mean,
Algy, by Cecily? I donít know anyone of the name of Cecily.
ALG Bring me that cigarette case Mr. Worthing left in the
smokingroom the last time he dined here.
LANE Yes, sir.
[Lane goes out.]
JACK Do you mean to say you have had my cigarette case all this
time? I wish to goodness you had let me know. I have been writing
frantic letters to Scotland Yard about it. I was very nearly offering a
ALG Well, I wish you would offer one. I happen to be more than
usually hard up.